I’m not so much into politics. I cast my vote and then leave the rest up to those elected to serve.  I don’t allow the political culture to drain my energy and resources.  Worry and concern or celebration over what and how those elected officials carry out their call is not a good use of my mind, will, and emotions.  1 Peter tells us to submit ourselves FOR the Lord’s sake to every human authority, whether to the emperor as the supreme authority or to governors who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right, for it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.  We further read in the word of God, let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is NO authority except that which God has established.  The authorities that exist have been ESTABLISHED by God.

So, I am informed.  I vote. Then, I go about doing that to which I have been called.

Charlie Kirk’s assassination started a blaze throughout our nation and the world.  Those in authority stoked the fire Sunday at his memorial service.  As I watched the service, I was struck by numerous things.

1. Some of those in authority are true believers in Jesus.  Charly Kirk’s death has ignited some leaders to profess Christ in a public arena in a way they have never done before.  That is the work of God.
2. Charlie’s friends and family know the truth of the Gospel.  They exhibited grief over the loss of a friend but also showed unwavering hope in God working ALL THINGS, even their loss, together for good.
3. Most strikingly, I saw a woman who lost the man who provided stability, courage, and safety.  The one who cherished her as a husband is called to do.  I witnessed a woman who experienced true biblical union and a balanced, secure partnership.  I also heard her clearly present that not all women experience this type of marriage.  She implored husbands to follow Charlie’s example: “Your wife is not your slave”.

As a counselor, I work with many married couples, and I see that the one missing piece is always the loss of the ideal of biblical submission and masculine affection.  I am not a proponent of blind submission to a leader of a marriage that doesn’t first submit to the call of Christ as a gentle husband.  This is foolishness.  Grace and respect, and gentleness are the call of a wife, no matter who she is married to, but that does not mean being a doormat or what the church culture often presents as submission at all costs.  You see, as a husband provides safety and cherishes his spouse as he is called to do, the woman will willingly and joyfully take her place in the partnership.  It is a beautiful design.

I have lived both as a wife in a destructive marriage, weighed down by the church culture to keep quiet, submit to the husband, after all, “God hates divorce”.  And I now live in a marriage to a man who cherishes me and provides an environment of safety where my opinion matters and it can be different then his without repercussion.  I am nurtured and encouraged to live out God’s call in my life, and this creates unwavering dedication and partnership with the leader of my home.

Sure, we are not perfect. As a matter of fact, Erika’s eulogy helped me see deep areas that I need to grow in as a wife to my husband, and my guess is that it prompted my husband to reflect on his role as well.  I’m sure that Charlie and Erika’s life wasn’t perfect either; we only see what we are shown, but it is clear they had the right foundation in Jesus Christ and sought to live with each other following His example.

So, as a counselor, I ask myself, “Do you need Christ to have a balanced, healthy marriage?”

The simple answer is no.

Have you ever had a maple bar from Sister’s Bakery? (radical shift here, but stay with me).  In my opinion, they are the best!  Sure, I could go get one from any grocery store, but they just don’t hit the same.  There is something different and special about the ones produced at Sisters Bakery.  Jesus at the center of your marriage or your individual life is like a maple bar from Sister’s Bakery.  We can find you a maple bar, we can overcome depression, anxiety, and build some marital bliss, but honestly, apart from Christ, you will just be getting a grocery store donut.  Perhaps satisfying to a point, but not the real deal.

Some may say it is risky to share this truth as a practicing mental health professional.  Those who read this seeking a counselor may be turned away from me as their potential counselor.  I’ll encourage you not to let this deter you from reaching out to me for support or for a reference to a professional who may fit your needs better. Your wellness is key to your life’s calling with or without Christ.

Charlie Kirk’s service showed us that being rooted in Christ is different.  We saw dignitaries, media figures, friends, and family who understood this truth.  We all saw firsthand how this truth may just be the turning point for many who needed to be inspired to “level up” and allow God to take them where He wants them to go.  I pray that this fruit would come to my life as well.  A deep reminder that apart from Christ, my marriage, my calling, and my wellness are simply a grocery store donut.