Cha Cha Cha Changes

How do you do with change?

I grew up in a stable household with my parents who to this day are my number one fans. They provided clear boundaries and taught me that nothing is as bad as I make it in my own head. I remember the day I got my driver’s license I backed into someone with my car and came home crying, barely able to speak. My parents said, “Is anyone dead or severely hurt?”. The answer was “no” to which they replied, “Then whatever it is we can manage” and they did.

However, not everyone has this type of experience growing up. Sometimes when a child grows up with significant uncertainty or instability it can lead to difficulties with change in their adult life. An unpredictable environment or a parent who changes moods with the wind can cause a child to grow up with a need to control and this will manifest in rigidity, overreactions to minor changes and difficulty adapting to new situations. Hypervigilance can grow as a defense mechanism when a chaotic home fosters a state of heighted alertness which results in an adult who has trouble relaxing or always anticipating the worst-case scenario. Other repercussions of unpredictability in childhood could be impaired emotional regulation, higher rates of anxiety or depression. There can be a distrust or difficulty forming intimate bonds in adulthood. Although maladaptive coping mechanisms can develop other positive things such as increased resilience and adaptability can help the person navigate difficult situations.

Do you struggle with change?

Embracing the unknown: the constant of change in life’s journey.

There has been lots of change in my family recently. Changes in jobs, changes in income, stressors that came out of nowhere and just a little bit of unrest. I’ve been practicing mindfulness and remaining in the moment to be grounded in the peace of the “right now”. I often use the phrase “God knows” with my kids and my daughter just recently used it on me when I was beginning to doubt the changes that are taking place. She also reminded me that 2.5 years ago I was wondering if I should get my master’s degree but today, I’m living my dream, serving the community through counseling. GOD KNOWS. So let me encourage you, if you have difficulty with change, healing is possible. Practicing self-care and seeking support from a professional counselor are great steps toward navigating changes in your life. Hope Venture Counseling is a safe and welcoming place, where together we can make the next best choice and find peace and hope in your circumstances.